PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
