I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize