fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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