I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
