my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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