thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize