champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
