I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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