No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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