I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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