At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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