What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
