I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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