she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
