Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize