consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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