dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
