kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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