what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
