I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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