I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize