Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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