Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
