Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
