So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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