Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
