Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
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Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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