the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
