Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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