DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize