Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
