Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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