YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
