girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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