"it" just moved
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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