I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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