As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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