Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
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I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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