Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
