So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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