He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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