All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
