There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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