I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
