scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
