it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
