my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
