ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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