I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
