I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
