Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
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Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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