I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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