I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize