Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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