Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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