I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
