I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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