you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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