Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
